Nothing In the "Dark"

      Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is an over-promised and under-delivered mess that tries its very hardest to function on two tiers - the first being the Guillermo del Toro tier, which includes typical elements of a del Toro story -  a story about a child in dire straits, with realistic violence and danger to go along with it; the second, the tier of an American filmmaking rampage attempting to overshadow an original, well-crafted film with a utterly awful remake.  As much as I respect del Toro and all of his previous work, this is one skeleton he should have kept in the closet.
     The story begins with a recently divorced father Alex (Guy Pearce) who has his young daughter Sally come stay at his recently renovated dream house for the summer.  Sally does not warm up, however, to her father's new house guest - his new girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes), who is just as enthusiastic about the house as Alex is.  Though Kim tries hard to impress Sally and buddy up to her, Sally is clearly angry about her parents' separation, and wants to go home to her mother's house.  While the adults are obsessing about making the cover of an architecture magazine and moving in all their antiques and artwork, Sally is left on her own to draw in her room and wander the grounds of the house, exploring every nook and cranny.  The basement of the house, however, hides a dark secret - small creatures locked in the furnace long ago when the previous owner lost his young son to their deviance.  Sally is the perfect new victim for the demons; she's a child, alone and vulnerable.  Sally's curiosity gets the best of her, and after letting the wickedness out of the furnace, she realizes her new "friends" have hidden intentions, and are more aggressive and evil than they seem.  Her father denies they exist, wondering if his daughter is crazy.  Kim, however, is more sympathetic, and begins to investigate the mystery for herself.  She finds that time is running out for Sally, and they won't be able to leave the house without a fight.
     
     The original Don't Be Afraid of the Dark was creepy and downright scary.  Del Toro even praised it as "the scariest TV movie of all time".  This respect indicates he clearly wanted nothing more than to pay homage to a 1970s horror classic, but he should have known better than to attempt to transform a story over 30 years old that was shown on television late at night into a feature-length CGI-fest film.  The acting, even by up-and-coming child actress Bailee Madison, was average at best.  She was certainly no match for Ivana Baquero, the young girl of Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro's most successful previous film.  The creatures were scuttling computer-generated rats, much less terrifying and revolting than those of the original.  The ending was much less satisfying, and only in the sense that it didn't really make sense.  More than anything, it's disappointing to see Del Toro cash in for mediocrity.  I walked out of the theater more afraid of running out of gas on my way home because I spent my last ten bucks on a bad movie than I was to turn off the lights that night.  
     It never fails - see the original, NOT the remake.