Well this looks good.

     Also, Happy Friday to all you suckers that have jobs.  

 

Documentary Wednesday: "Confessions of a Superhero"

     Confessions of a Superhero is a part-sad, part-comic look at the lives of street performers on Hollywood Boulevard, making a living by dressing up as icons of culture and popular superheroes, and posing for pictures with the tourists and passer-byes of Hollywood, California.  Little do those tourists know that these "street performers" and "pan-handlers" have dreams of stardom and fame of their own - most of them based solely on delusion.

      This documentary was tantalizing and a little heart-breaking.  It focuses mostly on four people that work the Hollywood Strip - Christopher Dennis, whose obsession with Superman is beyond creepy; Maxwell Allen, a make-believe "bad-ass" who dresses up as Batman and claims he has a dark past in Texas that includes a "body count" from here to eternity; Jennifer Wenger, who dresses up as Wonder Woman and dreams of being the next big actress; and Joe McQueen, who also dreams of fame and fortune while climbing into his Hulk costume as he goes to work each day.  Most of them work solely off of tips and gratuities that tourists and pedestrians are able to provide (or are guilt-tripped into providing).  The way these characters make their living is not the sad part; it's how they dream of bigger and better things.  They daydream of Academy Awards and auditions leading to the red carpet; they romanticize their futures in Hollywood as if the gold platter and silver spoon is just out of reach.  This documentary, more than any other I've seen, shows how hard it is to "make it" in show business.   It's well put together by director Matt Ogens, neither condemning nor mocking any of the participants.  He takes their lives and their dreams as seriously as they do.  
     The most interesting part was finding out where each participant went post-filming of this documentary.  Some, such as Jennifer Wenger or ex-homeless man Joe McQueen (the one I truly rooted for), actually starred in some very big titles (from True Blood to My Name is Earl to spoof films) and have quite a resume to build on.  Others (*cough* Batman! *cough*) have little more than viral YouTube fight videos to lend to their names.  At any rate, this is an interesting piece of work with a great soundtrack, vivid imagery, and the true heart of Hollywood in it - many come, and very, very, very few are chosen. 


(img source = tomillenium.files.wordpress.com)

Cool Movies I Watched Over the Weekend

     I took a break from the dramatic and dark to the funny and innocent.  It's all about a balance.

1. North
     While this is a film Roger Ebert claimed to have "hated, hated, hated", I found it to be pretty quirky, well cast, and cute.  Elijah Wood stars as North, a talented young kid feeling a bit neglected by his parental units at home, played cleverly by George and Elaine  Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.  He thinks he is a pretty good kid - smart, athletic, nice, organized - a child any parent would be proud to call their own.  After hiring a lawyer (John Lovitz is brilliant) at the behest of his best friend (Matthew McCurley), North is successfully separated from his parents in a court of law and ordered to find new parents by noon on Labor Day.  

Thus he sets off across the globe, from the frozen plains of Alaska to the frontiers of Texas to the beaches of Hawaii, interviewing and "testing out" seemingly perfect families.  That's when he realizes he misses his own.  Bruce Willis as the ever-present "guide" to North is an especially nice touch. He really works that pink bunny suit.  A lot of critics gave this movie some lashings, pointing out how unrealistic the plot was, and how it's only for kids who hate their parents.  That's moronic bullshit.  It was a satire that apparently Americans are too sensitive to handle.  Another score for Rob Reiner in my book.

2. The Kid

      This sweet little piece of cinema is one of the better Charlie Chaplin films, in my opinion.  More endearing and emotional than Modern Times, this film was one of Chaplin's later works in 1921.  It follows the story of The Tramp (Chaplin's lovable and laughable character) who finds an abandoned child and takes him in.  Five years later events unfold that threaten their relationship, especially when the child's original mother comes looking for him.  At 50 minutes in length, it's under an hour long of much needed film culture I'm sure you could use.  The score and acting are all beautiful.  The dynamic between the Tramp and the Kid is hard to mimic even today; they are poor but happy, down-trodden but faithful to one another.  This silent film almost a century old screams more plot and character development without uttering a single word than most blockbuster summer flicks today.  The humor is very subtle, but blatantly funny if you recognize Chaplin for who he was - a genius.

(img sources = mamapop.com / brightlightsfilm.com)

Trailer for "Being Elmo: A Puppetters Journey"

     A post in honor of the great (but late) Jim Henson.  Interesting documentary!

Hollywood loves books...and all the ideas they come with.

     You know, I hate to sound like a broken record, but Hollywood has been creatively bankrupt for years now.  The last time I was at the movies, four out of the five previews I begrudgingly sat through were remakes, or based on novels.  That made me curious - how many other books are headed for the silver screen?   It didn't take long for me to find a long list of movies lined up for just this fall alone.  I chose to mention the five most relevant ones to you.  Some of you may recognize these titles, but don't even try to come off as someone who avidly reads.  I know this audience.  The only thing you've probably read today besides this pathetic sentence was the side of a pill box.

1. The Rum Diary 

     One of Johnny Depp's newest projects, set to come out in October, includes this Hunter S. Thompson adaption about an alkie journalist working in Puerto Rico in the 1950s.  Amber Heard is also starring as his love interest in the film.  Catchy title.  You know, because it's a diary.  About rum.  

2. We Bought a Zoo

     Based on a true story about a family that uses their hard-earned life savings to purchase a zoo, Matt Damon plays the lead role as the family patriarch that apparently thought that was a good idea.  Catchy title.  You know, because they buy a zoo. 

3. Paradise Lost

 

      Paradise Lost will be loosely based on John Milton's epic poem about Adam and Eve's exile from the Garden of Eden, and directed by the guy who did I, Robot (Alex Proyas).  Also, Bradley Cooper is rumored to be playing the Devil.  All of these sentences together make me a little nervous.

4. The Big Year

     I actually read the premise for this movie, saw the cast (Owen Wilson, Jack Black, Jim Parsons, and Steve Martin to name a few) and seriously thought this was a Wes Anderson film.  I don't know, bird-watching, men going on an adventure, Owen Wilson...it all screamed Anderson to me.  Then I saw the trailer.  It's not.  

5. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

     This movie is actually not coming out this fall, it releases next year. But being as this is probably one of my favorite books of all time, I have vested interest in it.  I wasn't too happy when I heard this was being made into a movie.  I was pissed off.  I feel a little better knowing that the director is the writer of the novel, Stephen Chboksy, but I can't help but feel like nothing is sacred anymore.  This book is amazing.  After you finish reading this, or the labels for your pills, or both, you should go read this book.  

Happy weekend, readers. 

(img sources=tipsfornonsenselife.blogspot.com/nextmovie.com/screenrant.com/vox.en.com/luuux.com)

"J. Edgar" Trailer - Up and At 'Em on a Wednesday

     Oscar bait.

 

Nothing In the "Dark"

      Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is an over-promised and under-delivered mess that tries its very hardest to function on two tiers - the first being the Guillermo del Toro tier, which includes typical elements of a del Toro story -  a story about a child in dire straits, with realistic violence and danger to go along with it; the second, the tier of an American filmmaking rampage attempting to overshadow an original, well-crafted film with a utterly awful remake.  As much as I respect del Toro and all of his previous work, this is one skeleton he should have kept in the closet.
     The story begins with a recently divorced father Alex (Guy Pearce) who has his young daughter Sally come stay at his recently renovated dream house for the summer.  Sally does not warm up, however, to her father's new house guest - his new girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes), who is just as enthusiastic about the house as Alex is.  Though Kim tries hard to impress Sally and buddy up to her, Sally is clearly angry about her parents' separation, and wants to go home to her mother's house.  While the adults are obsessing about making the cover of an architecture magazine and moving in all their antiques and artwork, Sally is left on her own to draw in her room and wander the grounds of the house, exploring every nook and cranny.  The basement of the house, however, hides a dark secret - small creatures locked in the furnace long ago when the previous owner lost his young son to their deviance.  Sally is the perfect new victim for the demons; she's a child, alone and vulnerable.  Sally's curiosity gets the best of her, and after letting the wickedness out of the furnace, she realizes her new "friends" have hidden intentions, and are more aggressive and evil than they seem.  Her father denies they exist, wondering if his daughter is crazy.  Kim, however, is more sympathetic, and begins to investigate the mystery for herself.  She finds that time is running out for Sally, and they won't be able to leave the house without a fight.
     
     The original Don't Be Afraid of the Dark was creepy and downright scary.  Del Toro even praised it as "the scariest TV movie of all time".  This respect indicates he clearly wanted nothing more than to pay homage to a 1970s horror classic, but he should have known better than to attempt to transform a story over 30 years old that was shown on television late at night into a feature-length CGI-fest film.  The acting, even by up-and-coming child actress Bailee Madison, was average at best.  She was certainly no match for Ivana Baquero, the young girl of Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro's most successful previous film.  The creatures were scuttling computer-generated rats, much less terrifying and revolting than those of the original.  The ending was much less satisfying, and only in the sense that it didn't really make sense.  More than anything, it's disappointing to see Del Toro cash in for mediocrity.  I walked out of the theater more afraid of running out of gas on my way home because I spent my last ten bucks on a bad movie than I was to turn off the lights that night.  
     It never fails - see the original, NOT the remake.

(Un)Cool Movies I Watched Over the Weekend

     And sorry, but none of them are about 9/11.

1. Feed the Fish

     While Feed the Fish begins as a dark comedy about a struggling writer who decides to isolate himself in Wisconsin for a few weeks while his friend trains for the annual Polar Bear Plunge, it ends as a sappy rom-com with all the predictable elements.  Tony Shalhoub does a great job as the quirky small-town sheriff, who shoots both his pistol and his mouth off at inappropriate times.  Other than that, though, the film is as consistently dull and forgettable as the snow-covered flatlands of Wisconsin.  I actually almost forgot to add it to the list, that's how forgettable it is.  Good thing I got it out of the way.
2. Jeepers Creepers

      Sometimes you're just in the mood for a good-old fashioned teen horror film.  The kids are really stupid and gullible, there's lots of screaming and blood...it's great.  No matter what you think about this 2001 cult classic, you have to admire its opening weekend - the biggest and most profitable in history for Labor Day weekend.  The runner-up is its sequel, Jeepers Creepers 2.
     Unfortunately, like so many horror films, the first half is great, above average even, but the rest of the movie sucks.  Once the initial spooks are delivered, the tense atmosphere built up, and the audience suckered in, the monster is revealed too early and its all downhill from there.  The make-up, effects, and acting by Justin Long and Gina Philips are all decent.  Too bad the writers didn't work a little harder on those damn minor details, like a solid plot that doesn't end in complete ridiculousness.

3. Hobo with a Shotgun

     I don't think there is a way to overstate the absolute over-the-top-ness of this movie.  Paying, no doubt, an homage to 70's exploitation and grindhouse films, I'm not sure I've ever seen a gorier movie.  Rutger Haur is the most brilliant thing about this movie, starring as a hobo that catches a ride on the rails into a new town, wanting a new life.  The town he's moved to, however, is called Scum Town, and for good reason.  It's overridden with crime, drugs, murder, and hate for the homeless, all fueled by a tyrannical crime lord named Drake.  He, along with his two psychopathic sons, Ivan and Slick, find the laughter and thrills most people get from amusement park rides in torching school buses full of children or decapitating people with barbed wire.  The hobo sees the human abuses all around him and decides to do something about it.  After befriending a hooker named Abby, he wreaks havoc on Scum Town, his trusty double-barreled shotgun in his hands.  
     Definitely do not watch this if you have even a slightly weak stomach.  There is some serious shit that goes down in this movie.  Keep in mind, however, that it is all purposely over-the-top.  It's supposed to be absurd.  I expected the writing to be a little better, and the relationships with the protagonist to be a little more endearing, but I'm not sure why I expected a movie with this title to have anything other than ruthlessness and shotgun shells to the head.   Seriously, this movie is so absurd.  I mean, there's a pedophile Santa that roams around for God's sake...AND IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS.  Don't worry though, he gets his.  If you're in the mood for vigilante justice and comic violence, rent it and put a nickel in a homeless man's cup next time you see him begging by the freeway. 

(img sources= rlslog.net/horrownews.net/anythinghorror.com)

Teaser Trailer Tuesday - "Dragonslayer"

     Young anarchists, skateboards and fireworks...what could go wrong!  Winner at SXSW.  Can't wait to see it.